who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
