Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
