Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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