um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
