so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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