In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize