I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
