Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
