Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
