you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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