I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
