But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize