It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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