yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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