Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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