Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is Oprah even human
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
