I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
