Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I smell stomach acid.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
