did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
