You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
