I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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