so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
