i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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