I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize