im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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