He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he puts the penis in happiness.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
