OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
