dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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