its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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