You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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