I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
time to smoke my breakfast
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
