Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When did angry sex become our thing?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
