All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
