ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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