fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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