Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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