Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
