I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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