When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When are your genitals available?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
