So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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