No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize