he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wear drunk well.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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