Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
