I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
