remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My bed smells like the plague
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