I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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