I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
