Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
