He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
