vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
