Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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