Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
