It's like a parade of train wrecks.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
