i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
