im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize