plz talk dirty to me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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