porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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