shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
