Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
