But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
