My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize