And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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