ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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