I'm lost and stupid without you.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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