If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
