An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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