I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
