I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
