adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize