Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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