Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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